Emily Pheifer
Throughout my life I have suffered with continuous irrational fears. Because of this, I have found it harder to connect with people in my life or get close to those who care about me. Art became a way where I could show those emotions without having to explain myself or feel shut down. The reason I took AP Studio in the first place was to show those very emotions that I felt I wasn’t allowed to have when I was younger. Rather than painting or drawing I was able to connect to my work and have more genuine intention behind what I was making. So many vessels that I had carefully crafted in the past months were smashed with a hammer. I began to twist wire around in ways that weren’t perfect. Paint began to drip where I couldn’t control where it dripped. Clay crumbled and faced my ceramic knife even where I didn’t want it to.
Destroying and “messifying” my art has led me to go in different directions than I would normally go, and it truly represents the amount of fear that I have when experiencing an episode or how other people view me. I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to experiment with in the future. Finished pieces, artistic ideas, and aspirations are not exactly “finished” or decided, they are still growing. Despite that, I can guarantee that I will continue to display my life through media whether it’s something skillfully crafted or something destroyed to my liking.
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